Help! What do I call my Dominant?
This is a common question when starting out in a d/s relationship.
Do you want to use an honorific? If so, what? It’s all about what you feel is right for you. If you don’t want to use them, don’t. It’s all good.
I think it might help to look at it this way… It’s about Dominance and Submission.
Dominance is having power over someone – and using an honorific is having to use a title (word) of high respect (what ever that word is). So, using that title gives dominance over that person. It’s a power play.
For some people it is a way to denote the scene. They only use it when BDSM happens. For others, it’s an all the time thing. For others, it’s a when the mood strikes.
People call their doms all sorts of things… The name given is what they make of it. If Grand High Poohba works.. then that sign of respect is what works.
The common words used – like Sir or Master – are easy because they imply dominance or authority
- Sir – “used as a polite or respectful way of addressing a man, especially one in a position of authority. “
- Master – “a man who has people working for him, especially servants or slaves or a person who has dominance or control of something “
The most common ones honorifics are:
For a more Masculine person: Sir, Master, Daddy
For a more Feminine person: Mistress, Goddess, Domina, Mommy
But, what if your Dominant doesn’t like those choices…
Think about titles that denote Authority and Power.
Also, remember, any gender can use any title. Don’t be afraid of using Sir if you are non-binary or female. If it calls to you, use it.
There are Common Titles:
- Mister
- Gentleman
- Esquire
- Misses
- Ma’am
- Miss
- Madam
- Mx (a non-gendered title, commonly pronounced Mix)
There are Executive Titles:
- Honorable
- President
- Councilor
- Mayor
- Governor
- Prefect
- Premier
- Ambassador
Royal and Noble Titles (Male / Female):
- King / Queen
- Prince / Princess
- Archduke / Archduchess
- Grand Duke / Grand Dutchess
- Duke /Dutchess
- Marquis or Marquess / Marquise or Marchioness (I love the way this one sounds)
- Count or Earl / Countess
- Viscount / Viscountess
- Baron / Baroness
- Lord / Lady
- Emperor / Empress
Religious Titles
- God / Godess
- Abbot / Abbess
- Brother / Sister
- Friar
- Father / Mother
- Reverend
- Bishop
- Priest / Priestess
- Patriarch
- Pope
- Vicar
- Chaplain
- Pastor
- Cardinal
- Blessed
- Deacon
- Elder
- Minister
- Reader
- Apostle
- Prophet
- His or Her Holiness
- Venerable
Military Titles
- Fleet Admiral
- Admiral
- General
- Vice Admiral
- Lieutenant General
- Rear Admiral
- Major General
- Commodore
- Brigadier General
- Captain
- Colonel
- Commander
- Lieutenant Colonel
- Lieutenant Commander
- Major
- Lieutenant
- Captain
- First Lieutenant
- Ensign
- Second Lieutenant
- Marshal
- Mate
- Officer
- Private
- Sargent
- Cadet
Other
- Principal
- Nanny
- Boss
- Coach
- Wizard
- Witch
- Citizen
- Comrade
- Sire
- Excellency
- His or Her Honor
- The Right Honorable
- Doctor
- Professor
- Dean
- Teacher
- Tutor
- His/Her Magnificence
- His/Her Notability
- His/Her Great Honour
- Magnificent Rector
- Headmaster
- Your Worship
- His/Her Royal Majesty
- His/Her Most Gracious Majesty
- His/Her Most Excellent Majesty
- His/Her Imperial Highness
- His/Her Grace
- His/Her Serene Highness
- His/Her Most Serene Highness
- Steward
- Grand High Poohbah
Ideas of Primal Players:
Predator type animals:
-
- Lion
- Eagle
- Bear
- Mamba (a very aggressive snake)
- Wolverine
- Honeybadger
Items related to animals:
-
- Tooth, Longtooth
- Fang
- Claw
- Scratch
- Rattle
- Alpha
Sounds:
-
- Screech
- Caw
- Howl